I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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