we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I just cut my nipple shaving
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize
