Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
