There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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