So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
