Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
