so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
