please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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