I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
