I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
