I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
