I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
