Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
