i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
