I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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