so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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