Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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