so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
