I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
