So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Randomize
