oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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