Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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