it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
