hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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