I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Damn victory sex feels great
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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