Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
We were destined to go to rehab together
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I would fuck him just for his dog
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
