dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
the gays at disneyland are vicious
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
