so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
