If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
