Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
