i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
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