sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
