Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
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