Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize