Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
