Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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