Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
