Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
