Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
It's just like the Real World with babies
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
