i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
