3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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