When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
No subtext here. People are naked.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
