You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
as a side note pls kill me
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