These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
