Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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