I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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