whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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