She announced her abortion via fbk
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
