i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
