Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
