Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
