My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
