is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
