I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
