wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
