dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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