STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
