And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
No stitches, just platelets and will power
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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