I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Randomize
