we're chasing vodka with high fives
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
