so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
