never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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