She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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