no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
