So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
