Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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