Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize