Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
