we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
