My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
