so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
we should paint friendship bongs
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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