just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Randomize
