these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
