Its about making memories worth repressing
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
