I just made out with a guy for $7.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
