If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize