my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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